you know what i dont like, although i do understand it, i just wish it would stop happening to me as often as it seems to be happening.. is when people get shit from there work, and u just happen to be talking to them right at that point in time, then they feel the need to then have a go at you, when really ur just an innocent by stander in all of this who just happens to have extremely bad timing. stupid people, and getting snappy at me and making my day worse, or night. its like the yawn, u see it, hear it or read it and you yawn.. ill give you the ripple affect alright.. this is how it goes.. you get snappy and yell at me, im gonna yell back even louder and piss u off more, then im going to go out and have me a great time while uve still got the shits. see how that works.. great cause i aint explaining it again.

12 months later

So its almost been 12 months since bubba was born. As expected there have been lots of ups and downs that have come with that, but most of all, lots of smiles from my gorgeous boy. I really could not have hoped for a better kid. He is almost always happy and smiling. He has really grown into his personality of late, although a very cheeky one at that. He still has blue eyes and blonde hair, slightly curly. Absolutely adorable. He's not quite walking by himself just yet, but he seems quite content wizzing around using furniture or holding onto my fingers.

Me in the last 12 months. hmmm.. Lots and lots of ups and downs, but to be honest, bubba has helped me through all of them. I can be as stressed and upset as anything, then is ee him smile and i cant help but smile and appreciate what i do have right in front of me. They say that you dont know what unconditional love is until you have a child, and to be honest, i completely agree with them. The smile that you get in the morning when you get him from the cot or when he's playing with a toy and he looks over at me and gives me a cheeky but proud grin, i cant help but feel grateful, happy and content. As much as i still sometimes wish that i still lived a childless life, there is no way that i would change it for the world. He has changed me for the better, what more could i ask for.

This weekend will be his 1st bday party and his christening. Bubba Challum, i do hope that you enjoy your day entirely. It is for you. I know that you wont remember it in the future, but there are many, many more bdays to come for you to enjoy just as much.

As of his last check up, he is weighing approximately 9 and a half kilos and his is 94cm long. He has 4 top teeth and 2 bottom teeth so far. He is still lilly white. lol. But he is my precious boy.

Oh. He had also at some point learnt to undo his nappy. So too my suprise one day after lunch when i went to go in and get him from his afternoon nap to see him playing with is poo.. Hmm what a family trait to have chosen bubba. lol. Luckily for me, he hadnt painted the cot with it, just hes sheet. What a clever boy i have.

hmmmmmmmmm

well its been a little since i last posted anything so i thought i would actually get off my ass and do it. though today im not to sure what i want to write about. to be honest i have been feeling rather frustrated of recent. not sure whether it is due to me or the guy i had been seeing either way i havent been myself. i noticed that once i started seeing him i had become very aggressive when i was around him. i really didnt like the person i was becoming. shortly after i just didnt like being with him. i waited it out and even talked to him about it.. ofcourse it all came back to being my fault right.. gotta love guys and how its always the chicks fault. but in the end i just broke it off with him. which in return ment a list of abusive messages.. seriously how is that helping me change my mind in anyway about the relationship has got me fucked.. but anyways.. i still havent gotten out of the rut just yet. am still feeling rather down about things at the moment. shit happens i guess. ill pick back up again soon for sure. all in due time. other then that, bubba challum will be turning 1 in just over 2 months. i cannot believe how quick time passes us by. Lots of planning to do that is for sure, plus i have to organise his christening. It never ends. lol. although im not really expecting many people to come, seeing as they never really give a shit about me, but i still end up being there for them. gotta love the way things work huh.. or maybe im just stupid enough to keep doing it. what an idiot i must be. but i still hope that the day goes really great for bubba. he deserves to be happy, although im pretty sure he wont understand whats going on. ha ha ha.. well thats it for me today. hopefully the next blog i write will be a little more uplifting.