hmmmmmmmmm

well its been a little since i last posted anything so i thought i would actually get off my ass and do it. though today im not to sure what i want to write about. to be honest i have been feeling rather frustrated of recent. not sure whether it is due to me or the guy i had been seeing either way i havent been myself. i noticed that once i started seeing him i had become very aggressive when i was around him. i really didnt like the person i was becoming. shortly after i just didnt like being with him. i waited it out and even talked to him about it.. ofcourse it all came back to being my fault right.. gotta love guys and how its always the chicks fault. but in the end i just broke it off with him. which in return ment a list of abusive messages.. seriously how is that helping me change my mind in anyway about the relationship has got me fucked.. but anyways.. i still havent gotten out of the rut just yet. am still feeling rather down about things at the moment. shit happens i guess. ill pick back up again soon for sure. all in due time. other then that, bubba challum will be turning 1 in just over 2 months. i cannot believe how quick time passes us by. Lots of planning to do that is for sure, plus i have to organise his christening. It never ends. lol. although im not really expecting many people to come, seeing as they never really give a shit about me, but i still end up being there for them. gotta love the way things work huh.. or maybe im just stupid enough to keep doing it. what an idiot i must be. but i still hope that the day goes really great for bubba. he deserves to be happy, although im pretty sure he wont understand whats going on. ha ha ha.. well thats it for me today. hopefully the next blog i write will be a little more uplifting.