you know what.. im really starting to hate the male race.. ever since being pregnant all ive heard is "oh your pregnant" then woof there gone.. the sad thing is after having bubs.. things got even worse.. i think i have heard every lie and every excuse there is not to date a chick. I honestly never thought that people were so shallow and superficial, but have come to learn that they are. Yeah everyone knows that ive put on weight. is what happens when when your blood pressure goes for a loop during your pregnancy and your not only swollen and have tree trunks for legs, but you feel bigger then a whale.. and then people think they have the right to tell you 6 months after having a baby that your fat.. seriously.. where the fuck do you get off telling me that im fat.. have you looked in the mirror lately.. your no cup of tea other fuck head.. like my confidence already wasnt at a low being the weight that im already at. and still not getting used to it. And i am seeing a personal trainer and working out and trying to watch what i eat as much as i can. But are you a single parent trying to raise a kid on your own??? no.. well step the fuck back and dont try and lecture me on my weight until your in my situation.. and yeah id love to be skinny, but im not a celebrity that can afford to hire a nanny so that i can sit there and have a trainer come to my house and a plastic surgeon on call to do an immediate lipo suction on me.. im in the real world you dicks, where real people gain weight and arent the size of twig. And i didnt choose to gain weight, and i ate healthy all throughout my pregnancy so dont lecture me on what i should be eating either.. how bout you go back to your fantasy land where everyones a super model and leave me the fuck alone.. atleast there your opinions are wanted..

well what can i say.. it has been six months now since bubba challum was born, and a lil over a year since i moved back from sydney. What have i learnt.. lets see..

child birth hurts.. if they say it didnt then they lied.. the epidural works wonders though and you get to sleep like a baby while still in labor.. oh the joys of modern medicine..

Being a single mum is really as hard as it looks. your always left with no money, you have no time to yourself. but the best thing about it is that you get to experience everything that your child goes through as you are always with them.

Now being a single parent rains havock on your social life and even your dating life.. well its more of the fact that you no longer have either one of those.. i have noticed that since the time i announced i was pregnant to now, i have lost many friends along the way. Now if only they realised that just because i have a child now does not mean i have changed in any way. it just means that i dont have alot of time to spare.. but in a way it is a good thing aswell, because then you realise the people that are worth giving your little spare time to.

ive recently just come back from a very fortunate and needed childless holiday. Although i missed bubba so much, it was good to be able to just sit there and do nothing. Enjoy being able to go out to restaurants with friends with out having to pack the nappy bag first. but as soon as i got back i didnt want to put him down to bed. i just wanted to hold him all night.. which would not have been the greatest idea as i was sick and feeling rather week when i returned.. so he slept safely in his cot and was pampered the next day instead.

Now the one thing that im really not enjoying after having bubba is the baby weight i had put on just seems to keep growing despite the fact that im exercising and watching what i eat.. seriously, i dont want to be any fatter.. in fact i want to lose all this weight that ive gained.. dam it..

Bubba challum is now 6 months old. He now has his 2 bottom teeth and is sitting up. he has learned to balance on his hands and knees and hopefully by christmas he will be crawling.

As for me.. I am still single, still at home and still broke. But i am lucky to have a happy baby who has the most gorgeous blue eyes and a smile that lights up everyones face. You are my world bubba and i hope that one day we both can find someone to share that with.